Bloatulence

This weekend I've been wallowing in my own filthy sloth like some sort of Jabba the Hut-sort-of-piglike-greasy-pusbag bastard. Too bad I ran out of play money last night or I'd be out right now at 2:30 in the afternoon on a Sunday in the bar swilling beer and chomping pizza. If I were a girl, I'd be one of those girls that girls hate. The fatful diet doesn't seem to affect my physique too terribly. My weight fluctuates no more than ten pounds in either direction. Lucky-fuckin'-me!

I gotta get on the jazz tomorrow. Time to start pulling this metal shop thing together. It's a lotta crazy crap but it starts to make sense when you crack the books.
The goal is to be one of those snooty artists who's clientele begs to be worthy of buying my crap.
It's all about the hype. If I can just get the guy who says what's cool to say my stuff is cool, then I'm in no matter what I do.

Oh, the sweet, sweet time! Time to dream, to get it together, to listen to the roses.
It's good to be born

Blast Off

I did it. I finally fucking did it. I left my job. I even managed to do it on good terms with everyone there. No sense in burning bridges. This means it's on, my bitches! I've got enough in the roll to keep me afloat only for a few months until the I get the biz loan and, brother, it's gonna be a big 'un.
It feels good knowing I can finally get up and work on my own schedule and THAT is worth it all by itself.
Oh, my babies, nothing like getting jumped in with the big dogs.
No worries, bitches. If you're not dying, then urgency does not exist.

Hot Karma Wheels

Still writing and rewriting Hippo Meat. What a bonkers-ass story it's turning out to be. It's kinda on hold right now while I'm trying to get my metal art biz off the ground. It's been a long time coming and I'm now on the verge of making it real.

Next week is my last at that lousy fucking job. I've got enough out of my late Dad's estate (not much) to keep me in this apartment for a few months while I iron out the whole shop thing.

Nuts, man. Totally nuts. I'd rather be on the street than put in another year at that job. I guess that's what it takes. You gotta be so sick of where you are and what you're doing that you'd rather be homeless than have to wake up before first light and toil another day away for someone else. That's where I am.

Time to roll, bitches!

Meteors, Lips Like Boogers, and Free Electronics

Best New Year's Eve EVER! I ended up going to Caz's downtown on my bike. While riding along the river trail I saw a flash outa the corner of my eye. I looked up to see a falling star, big as Hell, streaking down for a relatively long period of time. "Good one." I thought as I rode along the trail lined with redbud trees all wrapped in X-mas lights. "Beautiful." I said aloud.

I arrived at the bar and went in to find some friends at our usual table so chosen because the web cams cannot see into the little niche where the booth is. The table was covered with thin paper streamers and little plastic bottles. They'd already gone through a 150-count box of poppers and still had two more to go. It was only 7:30.

As the beer flowed like koshered animal blood we began construction of the bi-annual NYE airship to the musical accompaniment of "Lips Like Sugar-------Sugar Kisses..." Only we sang "Lips Like Boogers------Booger Kisses..." The air ship consisted of helium balloons gathered from around the bar all tied to a plastic, glowing SKYY Vodka shot glass into which we put a little card with all our names, the name of the bar, city, and state.

Just before zero minute Jeff Castleberry, the owner of the bar, blasted confetti cannons from the front door. Craig shouted "Holy shit! Some of it's money!" I looked down and sure enough there were folded dollar bills among the confetti all over the floor. Everyone, in their greed, forgot who their friends were and began scavenging the bills like jackals. Jeff then announced that some of the bills had prizes written on them. Craig won a five pound Hershey's chocolate bar. I won the DVD/VCR player. "Now all I need is a TV." I said.

At the correct moment we went into the street and released the air ship. It was an absolutely glorious take-off. The wind was blowing pretty wild and we were worried at first about all the power lines and such but it went smoothly into the black of night, glowing liquid chemical blue long after its silhouette was no longer discernible.

We agreed that the events of this excellent night must be portents of a good year to come.

I must have looked pretty suspicious riding my bike home with a DVD/VCR under my arm in the dead of night.